Grandma

Today, my grandma went to heaven. There are so many bittersweet emotions that come from that sentence. When I first heard, I was broken and hurting. For myself and family more than anything, but God blessed me with wonderful memories of my grandma.

I remember arguing with my cousins about riding shot gun in her car, Grandma's rule was whoever is oldest rides up front!

I remember advice during a week of visiting Amanda where we just couldn't get along, you are family and you might not always like each other, but you have to love each other. (so true.)

I remember her complaining about 4th of July, asking why we didn't just light dollar bills on fire.

I remember her love for crime shows, especially late at night.

I remember a sweet card she sent me once. She wrote that she saw a little girl at the store that reminded her of me and she missed me very much.

I remember seeing my strong grandma cry for the first time when my aunt Kathie passed away. I don't recall ever seeing her in so much pain. I pray I never know the pain of my kids passing away before me.

I remember driving her car to the mail box for the first time ever. I must have been 13 or 14. I was so scared!

I remember her and aunt Libby coming to our house when we were younger and ordering pizza while my parents were gone. I have no idea why they were here.

I remember her telling us if we wanted something when she died, to get a sharpie and write our name on the bottom. I have laughed at that so many times- but I never thought of it like i do now.

I remember her love, her hugs, her mashed potatoes, her strength but mostly, I remember her as a comfort. Always comforting.


Grandma is in heaven. She is worshiping in the presence of her Lord. She is reunited with the ones she loves. She is pain free. She is in PEACE.

He never lets go.

I just need to tell you (and remind myself) how amazing GOD really is.
Tonight, after talking to a million people at Bank Of America for hours about bill pay/over drafts and etc, they all told me there was NO way to refund any charges on my account. Well, Luke and I just started praying b/c that was all we could do and God totally blessed us by allowing us to speak with a supervisor who refunded every charge within 2 mins of talking to me. I find it no coincidence that we had been skipping our tithe and this week we tithed the smallest tithe, but the biggest we could.

This week has been especially stressful. Actually seeing my Grandma not remember who I was, visiting Amanda's grave for what should be her 25th bday, full blown 8month pregnancy hormones, financial issues beyond my control: really it was to much for me to handle.

The financial stuff was really bothering me. For the last 8 months, we've been in complete survival mode just trying our best to pay as much as we can on each bill each month. We had a budget, but that is only a plan on paper if you don't realize how much your financial situation can be damaged when you are both unemployed for so long.
This week, I made a real budget. And although it's only going to work with complete faith in God to provide for us, we have faith that he will provide. Our real budget involves getting back on track with every bill we've had to miss or skip in the last 8 months. But most importantly, it involves tithing to our Lord once again. I honestly believe that tiny tithe made all the difference in the world tonight.

Are You Counting the Days?

so here's my one post per year on the family blog-
Someone asked me today if I had started counting the days till our third little baby would be here. I hadn't thought about it so closely- but its getting to that point that I'm just excited and ready to meet my daughter (i know Leah is like "WHAT ABOUT ME!! I'M READY TOO!") so Its down to 32 days and I am just like........uh...32...days left? It feels like yesterday we were standing in the kitchen and Leah told me she was pregnant. Our year has just coasted right along and with Cecilia growing up SO much (now taking her first steps!) and Landen just growing up in to a little man- off to school, Me starting the new job; I guess it just creeped up on me. I continue to pray for the health and well being of my little girl, because she's not here yet- But I know that God is sovereign in his plans and that He will give us our baby soon enough.

Here's a picture of her little profile- she has mommy's cute nose (is it bad that i want my kids to have my nose??) well they haven't so far- both C and Lando have Leah's nose. Be well friends, The countdown Begins- 32 Days.

chocolate chip cookie fix.

After reading Diva's post about the best chocolate chip cookies and reading Ditty's post that she had referred to, I had to try them. I think this cookie may start to sweep blog nation :-)
Today is the perfect day to test them out because Drew and Selena are moving this weekend and I wanted to make them something to say "Thank You/We Love YOU/ Safe Travels". Our entire family loves the VanHorn's and we're going to miss them very much!
I think everyone I know is going through a lot of change right now. And you all should know chocolate chip cookies are the perfect medication for an exciting/scary/stressful dose of change!
Here's the recipe to share with your favorite friends going through some change right now!
Martha's Soft and Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients Makes about 3 dozen. 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1 cup packed light-brown sugar 1 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract 2 large eggs 2 cups (about 12 ounces) semisweet and/or milk chocolate chips

Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a small bowl, whisk together the flour and baking soda; set aside. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the butter with both sugars; beat on medium speed until light and fluffy. Reduce speed to low; add the salt, vanilla, and eggs. Beat until well mixed, about 1 minute. Add flour mixture; mix until just combined. Stir in the chocolate chips. Drop heaping tablespoon-size balls of dough about 2 inches apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Bake until cookies are golden around the edges, but still soft in the center, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from oven, and let cool on baking sheet 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack, and let cool completely. Store cookies in an airtight container at room temperature up to 1 week. First published

Copyright 2009 Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. All rights reserved.

toga toga toga

I have always secretly wanted to go to a toga party.
Considering the groups I hang out with, are you surprised I've never had a chance?
UNTIL NOW!

My friend Brandy always has THE BEST parties. Even if you aren't a drinker (I've been prego almost the entire time we've been close friends), these parties are a blast! There is always dancing, great food and a MILLION people. The girl knows how to throw a huge bash!

Her latest party was for her awesome husband, Adam's birthday this past weekend. I must admit, when she sent me a text asking what I thought of a toga party I was so excited and then immediately worried about having to actually wear a toga. I searched YouTube for maternity toga instructions with no success. Sometimes, the ones you throw together at the last min work the best anyway and I think we all looked AMAZING! Great party, B! Happy Birthday, Adam! I love you guys!!!